What I need to say before you read that essay

Please excuse the brief detour before you read my xojane essay, “Why I Won’t Go to Male Gynecologists Anymore.”

I need to offer a disclaimer.

When I published the essay I did not agree to the horrific, exploitive shall-not-be-named title (which xojane finally changed after I pleaded with senior management for a week).

By then, hundreds of haters and trolls reacted.

The former shall-not-be-named title was taken out of context and the wording slightly altered.

As a result, hundreds of people immediately reacted, many without reading the essay. Of those who did read the essay, the inflammatory title primed them into an angry rant.

That I dared to discuss what I discussed, clearly touched a nerve. The doctor-patient relationship is sacrosanct, to suggest anything perverse can sound, well, perverse.

Of course I expected my taboo topic to evoke a reaction.

I knew my point of view (backed by some anonymous doctors) would inflame some people. My piece is a think-out-loud grappling essay full of obvious ambivalence.

My essay was not intended as an indictment, expose or a statistical sampling of all male gynecologists. One of the best doctors I ever had was a male reproductive endocrinologist who did numerous pelvic exams in the ten years I was under his care.

One of the worst bedside manners I ever endured was from a female Ob-Gyn. I made both points in my essay.

This is an opinion piece, a single point of view.

Thanks for reading.  Here’s the essay.


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